Imagine the conversation between the lovebirds

Hi, Kathryn, are you still mad at me? I wouldn't want you to be pissed about my using your credit card at that hotel in D.C., sticking you with the bill after I lied to you and said the FBI was going to pick up the tab. I really had another method in mind to pay for the bill, but it didn't work out. And I'm sorry I still need the MAC laptop.

Unfortunately, it all fell through, and now you know who I really am. Let's let bygones be bygones and jump in the sack. I still love you, and I think we can still work all of this out. Forgive me?

Don't worry, Gerry B, yes, let's go for it! I'll pretend I'm going to a conference and I'll meet you. After I've written the book on you and we're both rolling in cash, who will care? Maybe we can get a movie deal, I'll work with Bicanic on that. If they made a movie on Artis, we can do one on you, too! American Express is insured for fraudulent charges, I'm just going to have to make it look like I'm coming after you.

By the way, dear, I really was laughing my little Jack Daniels loving butt off when I saw your photoshopped image with you as mini-me at Stuporpatriots. Are you going to thank me for digging that little personal photograph of hers up? You'd better get on your knees and thank me, Gerry B, or I'll give you a spanking.

Oh, please do. You know I like being your love slave, muffin.

I just love it when you talk rough and tough to me.

It brings back memories...You're doing just like my mother did....and you have no idea how that gives me a rise.

Oh yes I do. I know you better than you know yourself.

I know everything better than other people do, because I'm the queen of science fiction; the mother of the internet, the master of all things, an internet consultant and a Wolfram researcher! If you need an answer, I can make one up for you. If you need an alibi, I can make one up for you! That's what I'm here for.